Sabotaging Our Own Growth


The Lord showed me something a while back. When He first gave me the title to my next book, DEEPER STILL, I was on a mission to press in deeper to His presence than I've ever gone. I realize that since what I write flows from my experiences, I was getting excited about embarking on a new adventure with the Holy Spirit. I've been so hungry to know Him more intimately, so seeking Him as never before has been a deep burning passion of mine.


Somewhere along the way, I hadn't realized that things began to take a slight shift. I went from my daily time, loving on Him and enjoying the fellowship of the Spirit, to simply praying about and striving to go deeper. I began getting frustrated, my time with Him had greatly increased and I had even included some form of fasting as a life style, and yet...I wasn't making the spiritual strides I was previously making. Where was I missing it?...


I hear the same thing from many of you, "I pray daily and read my Bible... I'm seeking to get closer to God, yet nothing's changing." Soon feelings of rejection begin to creep in and you begin to draw back. Why isn't God showing up?


Here's what the Lord revealed to me at that time. I was originally chasing after Him for the right reasons, I deeply loved Him, wanted to know Him better and was absolutely enthralled by His presence. I realized my weaknesses and couldn't spend one day of my life without Him. What changed? My motives! It was no longer about passionately pursuing Him just because I loved Him, but about the results. Though experiencing Him in such a way that I can write about, is all good because my desire is to draw others into a deeper more intimate relationship with Christ. Yet, I was sabotaging my own growth.

The only way to grow in the Lord and go deeper into His presence is by spending time with Him and getting to know Him through His Word... which causes us to fall deeper in love and yield more of ourselves to Him and His plans. Complete surrender! Though many argue that their time spent with God is in their car or while they're working, that's good, but not enough. I spend time driving and watching television with my husband, but it's only when we are all alone, put everything else aside and begin to focus on each other, that true intimacy is experienced. Great relationships are developed as we put the other person's needs before our own, taking time to really get to know what makes them tick and doing what we can to please them. God wants your complete attention. Remove the pressure to feel, gain or experience something and just get to know Him as you worship, praise and adore Him.... soon you'll find yourself going deeper and experiencing His presence like you've always dreamed of.

I removed the pressure from myself to produce results... there was no more striving to make something happen by my own strength. More and more change is coming as I focus completely on Him and trust that He will impart His words, anointing and desires in me to do His will in His timing.


Seek Him with no ulterior motives... just simply because you love Him and desire to spend time getting to know and please Him. Change will come, you can't draw closer to Jesus and not be transformed! Stop sabotaging your own spiritual growth!


Matthew 6:6 (TPT) But whenever you pray, go into your innermost chamber and be alone with Father God, praying to him in secret. And your Father, who sees all you do, will reward you openly.


Matthew 6:33 (ESV) But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Proverbs 3:6 (TLB) In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success.


Psalm 63:1-3 (TPT) O God of my life, I’m lovesick for you in this weary wilderness. I thirst with the deepest longings to love you more, with cravings in my heart that can’t be described. Such yearning grips my soul for you, my God! I’m energized every time I enter your heavenly sanctuary to seek more of your power and drink in more of your glory. For your tender mercies mean more to me than life itself. How I love and praise you, God!

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