Repenting of My Own Spiritual Blockages
I don't know about you, but I do not want to exit this pandemic the same way I entered it! I'm so hungry for change and I don't want to waste a minute of my quarantine.
As I've been seeking God in a greater way and asking Him to reveal the blockages in my spirit...my heart is broken by the areas that still require change. With every layer, He's revealing more... even things from years ago that I had not repented of. Quite frankly, I didn't even remember.
There was a day that the Spirit of intercession was so heavy upon me, I could barely breath. He would put people on my heart and I would intercede for hours, until I felt it lift. I would read about someone in the paper or remember a person I had seen working in a store and God would have me contact them, pray and minister to them. As time went on, due to a series of events that grasped my attention and completely burned me out, I had backed away from studying God's Word and entering His presence as I once did. The aftermath of this was that the burden for souls and the heaviness of intercession became more than my flesh could handle, outside of His presence. I had forgotten what I had asked the Lord at that time, until He reminded my of it in my time in prayer this morning. I had asked Him for a reprieve from the burdens I was carrying. As in a previous devotion, I was trying to do battle without my armor on and I was getting battered and bruised in the process.
This was many years ago and I've since returned to a deeply intimate relationship with Jesus. It's actually more intimate and special than it ever was before. He's using me in other ways and I absolutely love my time with Him! It's filled with studying, writing and wonderful time in His presence. He's revealed His love for me in incredible ways and I have fallen madly and passionately in love with Him! Yet, I've felt that something has been missing and it's almost like a limitation...a cap on my progress and growth. A wall of resistance that only lets me get so far and though I desperately feel the call to go deeper... I'm spiritually frustrated, because though I'm called to be there, it has seemed unattainable... anyone one else been there?
I've been asking God in my time in prayer, what happened to those days when I was in constant communion with Him, always hearing His heart and interceding in the Spirit for His will to be manifested. Literally, hours and hours would go by as I worshipped, communed and interceded with tenacity and faith and it seemed like minutes. Don't get me wrong, I still hear His voice and spend hours in His presence, but I have no longer felt that He trusted me to pray things through as He once did. The Spirit of Intercession lifted that day and it's never been the same.
This morning, as I was seeking Him with a heart of repentance, He brought me back to those days and how I had come to despise the anointing that was upon my life, freely returning such a powerful and amazing gift. I'm so blessed that He revealed this spiritual blockage that I had created in my own life, so that I could repent and move foreward into all that He has for me! It may look the same as it once did or it may be different, but the important thing is that I've eradicated the effects of my own ignorance.
You see... there many things in our lives that can cause a gap in our relationship with Jesus... there's a chasm that can be created through our words, thoughts and actions. Thankfully, we have a Savior who shed His blood to remove every obstacle, anything that keeps us from hiding behind a veil of fear, selfishness, pride, burn out or sin. Ask Him to search your heart today... every painful, hidden and dark crevice. We must be purged of anything that prevents us from going to the next level with Him! He's calling us up higher and He's given us the time to seek Him, repent, leave the past behind and move forward into all that He's calling us to!! His will, will only be revealed as we enter into deeper depths of His presence, power and love.
This pandemic will end, but the trials won't. He desires to prepare and equip us to not only handle what's to come, but also be vessels that He can use to reveal His glory, power and love to a frightened, lost and dying world! IT'S TIME TO SHED THE WEIGHT AND GO DEEPER!!
1 Peter 1:13-16 (TPT) So then, prepare your hearts and minds for action! Stay alert and fix your hope firmly on the marvelous grace that is coming to you. For when Jesus Christ is unveiled, a greater measure of grace will be released to you. As God’s obedient children, never again shape your lives by the desires that you followed when you didn’t know better. Instead, shape your lives to become like the Holy One who called you. For Scripture says: “You are to be holy, because I am holy.”
1 Peter 2:1-3 (NLT) So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.